he is tall and touches me often. these are the things i noticed first. i communicate in code, without eye contact, head bent slightly away. it took me forever to see his green eyes.his straight nose.the smile. he looks familiar.some actor from some movie, some long time ago. some crush. dont tell mom the babysitters dead, maybe? i saw his curly hair, how he sought out my attention. leaned in, leaned out. kissed me. dry wit, smile at me. we are towering over the evening. swapping stories, holding hands. my skirt is short. i take the stairs slowly, in front of him. sex is not on my mind. sex is always on my mind. we buy gummy worms and have some wine.
he speaks in absolutes and tells me about us in six minutes, six weeks, six months. i am afraid because i have been down every road and every road ends with me picking up my paints and my pot, cutting across the grass,thumbing for a ride back to the beginning.
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